The passive competitive persona falls in as a character dysfunction. Characterized by means of negativity, sullenness, and blamelessness, they aren’t a lot amusing.
Let’s face it, we ALL will also be passive competitive – while you say one thing showing passive, however the underlying tone is somewhat competitive defines it. For maximum folks, it creeps up once we aren’t anticipating it. But, for some, it turns into a whole way of living. For the passive competitive persona, underlying hostility seethes.
What is an instance of being passive competitive? Imagine this, you ask your pal the place they would like to opt for the evening. They say “I don’t care, you choose.” Then you say “Let’s go to McGonaguls,” and their solution is “Oh, not that place.” The passive nature in them led them to say “I don’t care.” But, the follow-up negation of the place you wish to have to pass is the place the aggression lies. I don’t care—how silly. See the dichotomy? [Read: 15 best ways to cut out the drama in conflict]
The 15 indicators of passive competitive persona
For the passive competitive persona, it’s an approach to life. They fake as though not anything bothers them they usually don’t have a care in the international. But, if you’re making one misstep, say one thing they don’t believe, otherwise you don’t do what they secretly need, then you definitely get slapped with hostility.
#1 You can’t care for them. Dealing with somebody with a passive competitive persona is akin to banging your head towards the wall. It serves no goal. You obtain not anything out of it however a headache and excessive frustration.
Doing the entirety however listening to what you assert, they skirt the factor, throw out shit from the previous, or totally alternate the matter, in order that they don’t have to be responsible to someone. [Read: 25 early warning signs of toxic people]
#2 They are uncomfortable to be round. People with passive competitive persona dysfunction *sure, it’s technically a character dysfunction* are very uncomfortable to be round as a result of they only exude hostility and anger with out reason.
Since they have a tendency to cling the entirety in and simply let it sit down and stew, you bodily really feel it when you find yourself round them. It simply doesn’t make you wish to have to hang around. [Read: 10 scenarios when it’s okay to ghost a friend]
#three You hardly ever see the hostility that lies underneath. Although you are feeling the underlying anger, you by no means in point of fact get to see it. What they are saying and the tactics they behave, are very complicated.
They say the entirety is ok, however you are feeling as if you’re status subsequent to a ticking time bomb. You don’t have to see an explosion to pay attention the countdown.
#four Even regardless that their behaviors aren’t productive, they repeat them. To the onlooker, their behaviors aren’t productive, and the passive competitive persona by no means finally ends up getting what they would like. They proceed to do the identical factor over and over again.
What you don’t perceive status on the outdoor is how they get precisely what they would like. They make you are feeling in charge, put the entirety on you, and stroll away with out a unmarried care or duty in the international. What is nonproductive to the ones round them is terribly productive to the passive competitive persona. [Read: How to get rid of a toxic friend]
#five They keep away from taking duty for the rest. A passive competitive persona blames everybody round them and not takes duty for the rest. Even when it’s obviously their fault, they aren’t above claiming “the devil made me do it.” It isn’t ever going to be their fault. They to find someplace to deposit all the blame. It makes no distinction who the goal is.
#6 They are typically extraordinarily unfavorable and pessimistic. The author of Eeyore formed the personality after somebody passive competitive. The international is all the time towards them, not anything is ever going to paintings, and they’ll all the time be unsatisfied. So, if you understand a passive competitive persona, prevent attempting to please them. You’ll by no means succeed in it.
#7 They bitch repeatedly about being below favored. The passive competitive persona isn’t somewhat compensated. Not monetarily and no longer with reward. You actually simply get completed announcing “thank you,” they usually pass on and on about how ungrateful you might be.
In their international, they deserve all the appreciation. No quantity is ever sufficient, they usually assist you to are aware of it. [Read: 10 ways to calmly deal with difficult people]
#eight They accuse other folks of deceptive or deceiving them. The passive competitive persona is all the time being dumped on, put down, and lied to. Conspiracy theorist to the perfect, they usually consider somebody is all the time out to get them.
#nine They don’t simply say “no.” They procrastinate till you surrender. Procrastination is a passive competitive persona’s easiest pal. They received’t ever come proper out and say they received’t or don’t need to do one thing.
They say sure and both no longer display, or put you off till a time that you just ask somebody else for assist. Once you do, they’ll be proper to your face asking why you didn’t simply look forward to them. Because they had been as regards to to assist, in fact. [Read: 10 tips for setting boundaries with difficult people]
#10 They criticize pathologically. There is not anything excellent or proper of their international. If you are living with one, you want a robust vanity. Nothing you ever do can be proper or excellent sufficient. And not anything will ever be as excellent as they may do. Then once more, you wouldn’t respect it anyway.
#11 They do the entirety “half-assed.” Since they in point of fact don’t need to do what they mentioned they might, once they do stick with thru, they usually do issues “half-assed.”
They do it so shitty that you understand they had been displeased at being requested. You no doubt received’t ask them once more. Or so that you are going to assume that they only aren’t succesful and received’t ask once more. The identical end result, other modality.
#12 Whatever you assert, they naysay simply to disagree. Since the passive competitive persona is sullen and depressing, the entirety you assert is refutable and incorrect. They take the satan’s recommend simply to be on the reverse facet to argue.
They don’t even consider in what they are saying now and again, and also you no doubt received’t. It is like enjoying a silly kid’s recreation. [Read: Why is everyone so easily offended these days?]
#13 They are resolute in their very own critiques and refuse to pay attention to someone else’s. The passive competitive persona refuses to pay attention your critiques or what you assume. They know what they know, they usually aren’t about to let someone inform them in a different way.
So, stay your critiques to your self or else. You aren’t going to alternate their thoughts, ever.
#14 They dislike authority. A passive competitive persona in point of fact hates individuals who cling any authority. Makes no distinction whether it is the dean in class or the cop on the boulevard. Authority is not anything however every other way to knock them down a notch. [Read: 13 clues to know if someone has emotional maturity]
#15 There is all the time an object of resentment or any individual or factor that “did them incorrect.” If you communicate to a passive competitive persona, they may have the maximum superior lifestyles ever and one million greenbacks in the financial institution. But what they speak about as a substitute is how their easiest pal in grammar college stole their lunch at some point.
Always taking a look on the darkish facet, in the event that they weren’t depressing, they might be depressing.
The passive competitive persona is technically a dysfunction, however what isn’t when it comes to personalities?
An excessively tough form of human being to care for, they’re sullen, unfavorable, and exude uncomfortableness. And it doesn’t matter what you do you’ll be able to’t please them, you’ll be able to’t pin the rest on them, and also you easiest no longer argue with them
[Read: How to deal with passive aggressive behavior calmly and with class]
Sounds amusing to be round a passive competitive persona, doesn’t it? If this describes somebody you understand, congratulations, you simply figured it out. Guess what? It isn’t ever going to alternate, Eeyore is solely who Eeyore is.
The publish Passive Aggressive Personality: 15 Signs to Recognize the Sourpuss is the authentic content material of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.